Thursday, December 10, 2009

Why love is painful?

I AM in love, these are the beautiful words to hear, to say.. but is that true? Why we fall in love? Why suddenly a person is so important, so special in our life? Why we feel we just can’t live without him? Why this pain…? Why so much pain in love? Why?

Many of us can recognise the distressing symptoms that come with love. According to Dr Frank Tallis, author of love sick, falling in love may border on serious psychological disorder. But does it have to be that way? Is there an alternative to medication or therapy to ease the pain of love?

People go from one relationship to another, trying to avoid any deep involvement. With deep involvement problem have to be faced, much pain has to be gone through, so one simply plays safe; one makes it a point never to go too deeply into somebody. If one can involve deeply with somebody then one may get too entangled, and it will be difficult to escape; the pain may be much. So people learn how to play safe, hit and run love affairs. Before you can be caught... run.

This is what is happening in the modern world. People have become so childish. Maturity comes only when you are ready to face the pain, take the challenge. And to live peacefully and happily with another person is the greatest challenge in this world. It is very easy to live peacefully alone but very difficult with somebody else because two totally different worlds meet and collide.

Alone, one person feel lonely, sad and often asking himself/herself “what is the meaning of life?”: because the poetry arises only when you are together with somebody. Life takes a meaning only when you are in love. One part of mind thinks “love somebody, be love by somebody.” Another part of mind says, “beware, because each relationship turns out to be a problem.” Alone there are no problems – only you are the problem, there is no other problem – but with the other person many problems come. But one thing is sure if you avoid relationship, you will not grow, you will remain stuck.

When two people have fallen in love with each other, they drop their egos – at least for each other. They drop their hypocrisies, their masks. They want to be together, almost one soul within two bodies. That is desire of love and an alternative to medication or therapy to ease the pain of love…


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