Monday, January 18, 2010

Love..the mystery it gives.

As I sit on the floor having my own time with the silence of the night while the snow flakes falls quietly into the ground,there was this question that keeps on knocking into my mind..."why does love hurts?" I am aware that I am not the only one who thought about this obnoxious fact,but really...why does it hurts???
I am no longer a newbie about love and been into couple of relationship that during those time i believed it's almost perfect...I can still remember the first one which gave me the feeling of having butterflies on my tummy,or that time when he held my hand and I felt like I was the most happiest girl there is on that moment,and oh yeah you remember the time that you feel like the world stops from spinning?or how about that feeling of being on the place they called cloud nine?Those feelings are real we felt it but they're all just too good to be true to lasts...that's what i realized now (but it's really hard to wake up from this dreamy feeling) you experience that? and after wards what? you're going to devote yourself to your love interest,doing things even those things that you hated to do just to prove your love,commit yourself faithfully and worship them,putting them into pedestal, offering and showering them the purity of your love that most of the time we forgot to leave even a single strand of self loving to ourselves...when we fall in love we always to this: thinking of our gf/bf first before ourselves,the question it worth it?or to rephrase it,does some of them deserve it?
We felt love that sometimes makes us blind to notice that we fell for the wrong person but since we believe to what we feel,we just keeps ignoring those signs that they are not the right one,instead we keep pushing more to make the relation works,we strive to prove that it is really what we think it is and in the end we only suffers.We can't avoid failed relationships so we have to be broad minded when it comes to commitment but lets face it,no matter how imperfect our relationship was,it still stings once it's ended,maybe because we have some regrets,the what ifs and the truth that no matter how we avoid or prevent it,we are all victims of it...specially when we thought that we're in love with the person but the fact is we're just in love with love.
I've been there,and i was badly hurt,since then i was so cautious when it comes to love matters.Most often i thought,can i run away from it? Or can I just hibernate to be safe from it? Or shield myself with numbness to become exemption and deprive myself from love itself? But time came that i realized this..."I am no fool"..I am just wishful thinker...being hurt by love is tiring...yet again once it knocks I cant just move away now and ignore it instead i welcome love with open arms,love aint that bad all the time,right?This time whatever it takes,I am a willing victim.
...and reviewing this blog i am writing right now leaves me with dumb founded reactions...i cant really point out which is which...all i can understand now is we are all victims of love and we can do nothing with it not to be one...when it comes to love we can't say no once it strucks,the more you run away from it the persistent it chases you,the more you ignore the feeling the more it haunts you..that's how powerful it sum it all,go... let yourself get involve in love but dont overdo it...hahaha... now.... I stop myself from whinning about it...(sigh)....i got tired from i give my self in...tonight...i will embrace love once more...


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